tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-31309440671652975132024-03-13T06:28:18.172-07:00along this journey.Annika Leigh.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07100707228919726896noreply@blogger.comBlogger135125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3130944067165297513.post-56708711019163050512014-09-11T19:03:00.005-07:002014-09-11T19:03:52.419-07:00listening vs. hearing<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em>Most days you start talking, your friends pulling out their phones, on and off looking at you or looking at the lit up screen. You keep talking, wondering how much of the conversation they are actually picking up. Then you get the classic, "sorry, what?" Or the "sorry.. but have you seen this post?" The best is when people open snapchat videos while you are talking... as if the screaming in the background is actually going to assist your conversation. It never gets old to finish your sentence, wait for a reply, and realize that they are still looking down, unaware that your sentence had ended; or that it ever really started. Is it worth repeating what you said, or do you just move on? The apology or ask to repeat yourself, as if they didn't have control of why you were interrupted. </em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em>WHY DO WE DO THIS?</em></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em>Is it really that hard to listen to people? </em></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em>When people listen to me.. actually listen to me, I want to hug them and thank them. Who knew such a simple, human instinct, could be so complicated.</em></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em>We wonder why people feel so alone, or like they have no one to talk to. Are we ever really listening? Or do we just wait for an overly emotional instagram post, or a vague facebook status. Then the flags shoot up. We care then, right? When it's on our lit up screen, we suddenly pay attention. We ask others if we saw what they posted, wondering what might possibly be wrong. We forget that it would be so incredibly easy to just listen when they speak. </em></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em>I am so grateful for technology and all we are blessed with in this day.. but it's taking a toll on relationships. I absolutely hated when my parents would comment on this subject, while my friends were over. Now, I can take a step back and realize.. maybe just maybe, there was some truth to what they were saying. (shocker.. right? ha ha.) </em></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em>We need to listen not just hear. </em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em>We need to care now.</em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em>We need to remember that in the end, all of us just want to be heard.</em></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em>We say things like, "You look so good," when someone has lost weight. Or, "You seem so happy," when they start dating someone. We ask, "are you okay?" After there is something posted. All these things are after the fact. Finally a flag shoots up to say something. Suddenly there is a reason to listen.</em></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em>I want to know you. I want us to talk about our dreams. I want to hear what your future home will look like, or what your frustrations might be. I want to be all there, during conversation. Mind, heart, body, soul. I want to listen without waiting for a chance to reply. I just want to listen. I want to listen until you are done. In turn, I hope that you would do the same. I want to be heard. I want that damn phone to be put down for two seconds. I want us to listen until we are finished and there aren't any words left to say. </em></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em>Never give it an opportunity to be too late.</em></span><br />
<span style="font-family: "Trebuchet MS", sans-serif;"><em>Listen now.</em></span>Annika Leigh.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07100707228919726896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3130944067165297513.post-81301241852835543922014-03-02T20:20:00.002-08:002014-03-02T20:20:24.871-08:00just a whole lot.<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>here comes the storm:</i></span><div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I've always put myself in a vulnerable position. I meet people and am not shy about my shortcomings. I'm not going to lie and build myself up to be the person you want me to be, in that moment. I am me, every bright beam and every dusty corner. I have always felt like, if you don't like that, then you can go. I realize that it is a harsh mentality.. but I think often times we have a hard enough time loving ourselves, why would we surround ourselves with people that tell us what parts of us are wrong, and how they "know" we can fix it. C. Joybell C puts it perfectly when she said, "I am different. I will give you my treasure chest of darkness first. If you can handle that, then I'll bring out my shining moons. If one cannot handle the darkness, then one should not deserve the light. I have no interest in "trapping" anyone into a silken web. I have no silken web." </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>There have been several times where I have opened myself up to this vulnerable place and shown people that it isn't all great.. that there are things that I am still working on.. cause you know, I'm human.. and I'm not perfect. I have bad days, awful days, but good days; really beautiful days. I do this so I don't get to this attached phase, weeks later, when they decide they don't like who I am anymore. I'm saying these things because I have realized that one of two things happens. 1. they leave or 2. they try to change you. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>In our lives we are surrounded by people with expectations of us. They don't understand why we don't think the way they do. It is completely unfair for someone to come into our lives and say "this is this.. because of this. and you should believe that.. because I said it." But the absolutely crappy reality is that, that is what people do. They stomp into our lives and tell us why we aren't enough. There are so many times where I close the door to anyone coming into my life because I am simply sick and tired of being told where in my life, I am not enough. It sucks to be the person with the walls up. It sucks to push people away because more often than not, these people that surround me, end up being the ones that hurt, rather than help. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>So let me tell you what I've learned..</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>1. You. yeah you. You don't know everything. We are entitled to these awesome things called opinions. I am grateful that we all have our own individual ways of thinking and being.. but remember that YOUR WAY ISN'T EVERYONE'S WAY. Stop letting yourself in the front door without knocking, and telling me what room I need to sweep, and why my couch should be facing the other direction. Stop telling me that I have to believe what you believe, "or else." Stop holding back your love because we are different. Stop belittling others because you can't open up your mind to a new way of thinking. If you don't want to hear my beliefs and opinions, fine.. but don't force yours onto me.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>2. Going along with opinions.. stop closing your mind. Close your mind to what you know, and I promise you, you will never, ever, grow. Stop putting these predetermined connotations with words because you are scared. Fear is real.. but fear of learning more.. that is pathetic. There has been far too many times where people feel inclined to tell me their beliefs, and this and that.. but when I begin to share mine, they turn their ears off. What is life, but one, big, sometimes awful, beautifully, shitty, lesson. If you can't even hear other beliefs or opinions, you are hurting yourself. At least listen and be more strengthened in what you know to be true.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>3. When people open themselves up to you, and show you that vulnerable side of them, don't you dare use it against them. We all know how it feels to share words and experiences that matter.. The things that actually impacted us. Sometimes they are awful things. Things we would rather hide and push out the door, never to be seen again. But it doesn't work like that.. So if someone shares something with you that means something to them, Listen. Listen with your whole heart.. and be aware of the courage they had to have, to say those words out loud. "My own time on earth has lead me to believe in two powerful instruments that turn experience into love: holding and listening. For every time I have held or been held, every time I have listened or been listened to, experience burns like wood in that eternal fire, and I find myself in the presence of love. This has always been so."</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i> I recently told someone how scared I am of dying. They practically laughed in my face... like how stupid am I. It hurt knowing that, no, that isn't something I am proud of. No one walks around with a "here I am.. proud that I am absolutely terrified of _____" sign. It's not something I share with people.. well now it's on my blog with like 3 readers.. so there you all go. But seriously.. be aware of the strength and trust someone gives to you, when they share their secrets. It's never easy.. so listen with an open heart. If you haven't watched <a href="http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html">THIS</a>, do so now. "Vulnerability is our most accurate measurement of courage."</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>4. The judgement and our pathetic closed off mindsets have to stop. At what point do we realize that love and acceptance is the only way we will be okay. We are ashamed of ourselves because we are taught to do so. "If you put shame in a Petri dish, it needs three things to grow exponentially: secrecy, silence, and judgement." When we have these STUPID mindsets that, "Oh you have scary things in your life.. oh you aren't perfect.. I'm sorry.. I have to go. Your imperfectness might rub off on me. Wouldn't want to catch that." Freaking HELL. Stop. Stop thinking you're better. Stop thinking what you know is and will always be, the only truth. OPEN YOUR MIND, YOUR HEART, AND YOUR SOUL. I'm sick of being treated like I should be ashamed because I am not a certain way. </i></span></div>
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<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">this very lengthy, scattered, blog post is coming to an end. But that right there, is me. I am filled with a messy, beautiful, life.. that I have been told to be ashamed and embarrassed of. My imperfection is supposed to be embarrassing. (If you are imperfect, you should be embarrassed too. geez.) All I would hope that this bull shit mindset that we are all taught and surrounded by, can be pushed aside. I want to listen to you, love you, and in turn be loved by you. I want all of you. Your beauty and your dust. The things that you have overcome and the things that you are still working on. I promise to love you for all of who you are. Shame is an ugly thing and if I could rid the world of it.. I would. I may not be the perfect friend, daughter, sister, or person. I screw up.. I screw up a lot. I may not love you the way you want me to.. or be there for you in the ways you would have hoped. I may say offensive things or do things that you don't think are acceptable. I may believe differently than you. I may look at you wrong. I may have been an awful person to you in the past.. but all I can hope is that you will take a second and open your heart. I am no longer going to apologize for who I am. If that isn't enough or in the terms and conditions you accept.. see ya later. I learned a very important thing a couple weeks ago.. We don't make mistakes.. we do the best that we can in that moment. We are all trying our hardest! </span></i><i style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Every single person deserves to be heard and loved. There have been far too many days in my life spent dwelling on my efforts and how they aren't enough.. and I'm done with that. The pity, shame, and judgement, is going, going, gone. I want to love you if you will let me. I want to learn from you, and show you what I have learned and what works for me. I want to hear your fears and biggest heartaches.. With hopes that I in turn can share those things with you. I want to trust you and hope you will trust me. I promise I won't run. There isn't anything in the world that would scare me away or make me love you less. I want nothing more than for love to be the only answer in the world.. but I know that might never happen.. But I do know that, that can be the only answer for me. </i></div>
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<i style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">"You're imperfect and you're wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging."</i></div>
Annika Leigh.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07100707228919726896noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3130944067165297513.post-9301485197354280902014-02-23T15:36:00.003-08:002014-02-23T15:37:26.141-08:00cause I got a new camera.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif; font-size: large;"><i>"I am homesick for a place I am not sure even exists. One where my heart is full. My body loved. And my soul understood. "</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>-Melissa Cox</i></span></div>
<br />Annika Leigh.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07100707228919726896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3130944067165297513.post-22838453484703306102014-01-11T15:42:00.002-08:002014-01-11T15:50:16.294-08:00It will get better, I promise. <div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>These words have been stirring in my mind for a long time now.. and I haven't written them down until now, because I have such an easy life. I am so blessed. I am so loved. I have an incredible life that I am so grateful for. Due to unknown causes, sometimes in our heads.. that suddenly isn't enough. Without our consent we are overcome with sadness, anxiety, and ultimately, depression. As I see my friends, their siblings, families, everyone that surrounds me, I see how common it is to see others that are overcome with sadness, as well. It is heartbreaking how many people surround us that are carrying depression or similar feelings. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>This past summer I lived in Moab. I have shared things on here before about my incredible summer working there.. but there has been a lot left out. I think I've brushed these feelings aside, because honestly.. who wants to be like "hey everyone, my life sucks... I'm living in the most beautiful place.. but like.. yeah everything sucks." Don't get me wrong, I made incredible friendships and memories there, but there was a lot more that was going on. Before moving down there, I lost someone that I loved very much, I had to say goodbye to the people, specifically one, that taught me what love is.. knowing that I would never see them again. I was on very bad terms with my parents, had a lot of family issues weighing one me, lost a lot of friends.. and just wasn't happy. I had experienced similar feelings before and was so angry that they were coming back. No one likes being sad. I lived with a million people that were constantly doing fun things, I mean it's Moab.. We didn't really ever stop going. I was so overcome with sadness and had such low self worth and motivation that I didn't want to go out. I didn't want to socialize with people that didn't understand me. I didn't want to put on a happy face because I was hurting so deeply. I just wanted to feel better. There came a point where a lot of my peers gave up on inviting me because I kept turning down every offer.. and I don't blame them. I was scared they were going to judge me based on my incapability to be happy and outgoing all day, every day. If I wanted to go do something, I would go by myself, or with people that knew what was going on. I had a roommate that would constantly say to me "you sleep a lot" or "I've never seen someone sleep as much as you." There were so many days that I wanted to scream back.. "I KNOW. If I could be happy.. I WOULD." I was so offended that she thought I was choosing to feel this way. It wasn't a choice. When you deal with this brutal heartache and sadness, you don't just get to choose when you want it to go away. Sure you can put on your brave face, but it fades as quickly as you put it there. I was so angry with myself and everyone that surrounded me. I wished everyday that I could just tell them what I was feeling, but I couldn't even come to terms with it myself. I wanted so bad for them to give me a chance to explain where I was coming from. It quickly turned into anger. I was mad at myself for being so unhappy because good hell.. really Annie? YOUR LIFE IS A PIECE OF CAKE. I had just returned from living in a third world country. You want to see real life heartache, and problems.. that's where it is, not my life. Now with all this being said, I want to share what I've learned from it all.. I'm sharing this because if there is anyone that can learn from my mistakes, it will be worth it. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><b>Use your words:</b> </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>There were so many times that I wanted to scream to the world, "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND." When these feelings take over, you convince yourself that you are the only one in the world that has ever been sad. I am an introvert and already have a tough time opening up and talking to people. The best thing I ever did was open up to a girl I met this summer. I have already mentioned McKenna on here, but let me just remind you.. She is the best person I've ever met. One day I decided to get over it and finally talk to someone and tell them what was going on in my mind. Shockingly enough I learned that I wasn't the only person in the entire world that was going through something. It felt so good to release these words and hurt, I had kept inside me. I was able to talk through a lot of my emotions and not let them stir inside and overcome me. She reminded me that every single person is going through something, but it's okay! It's okay to keep moving on with your life, even when you are sad. Moving on or being happy doesn't mean that you are forgetting the one you lost, the pain you are experiencing, or the heartache you have, it's joining hands with your higher self and realizing that the pain and sadness you are allowing to continue, is destroying your spirit. You have to force yourself to put one foot in front of the other and keep moving forward.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><b>Perspective:</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>There were so many days that I thought, "Really Annie? You were just living with orphans.. taking care of these children that have nothing. You do not have problems. Cut it out." And yes, while it is true that my problems are so so small, that doesn't mean that they don't exist. I just have a lower tolerance to sadness than others. It is so important to remind yourself that though your problems, or other peoples problems may seem like the littlest, stupidest, most meaningless problem.. it still can wreck their world. It isn't your place to determine if they should really be as sad as they are about it.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><b>Go:</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Even when you feel like you can't get out of bed, or you can't put your brave face on.. Go. Do it. No matter how much every second of it sucks.. when you surround yourself with people that love you, you start remembering that YOU ARE LOVED, and you are going to be okay. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><b>Belittling Others:</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Often times it becomes frustrating to see these happy, "my life is perfect," people. I know plenty of times I would get so frustrated with these people. How could they just be happy all the time? Obviously they have never been through any hard trails, have never experienced true sadness, or had anything wrong with their lives... (HA) They don't understand and they wouldn't get it, were phrases that often crossed my mind. How unfair is it for us to judge, say, or think that about others. Just because they handle their problems differently, doesn't mean they have never experienced the sadness you feel right now. It's okay for them to be happy and go on living. It's okay for them to put on a brave face and love their lives. It doesn't mean that their heart isn't secretly aching, or that they aren't on the verge of tears from day to day, it means that they are able to handle and push through their problems.. and that is great! Don't belittle others by thinking they have perfect lives and don't know what you feel like. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><b>Emotions:</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>This was the hardest part for me. You have to recognize that because of the pain and sadness you are going through, your emotions are a little on edge. It is so easy to get so hurt and heartbroken by some meaningless remark someone mentioned to you. I was always so hurt when my roommate would comment on the little things I would do, or when my friends would say things like "you never come around." I made myself even more sad than I already was, thinking, wow.. how can they say these things to me? They had no idea and never intentionally said these things to hurt me! They were just saying them. You have to stop making yourself the victim. You aren't carrying a sign around saying "I am emotionally damaged, am going through the worst pain I've ever felt, have no motivation, and will probably start crying about anything you say to me." How in the world are they supposed to know that you are hurting if you don't tell them? And, no one should ever feel like they are walking on egg shells in fear that any word they say, might hurt you so deeply. Take these things that anger you with a grain of salt. Don't read into what they said. As hard as it might be, try to just let it go.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><b>Find the Good:</b> </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Surround yourself with what you know you love. Exercise, read a good book, draw, spend time with people you love and feel comfortable with, anything that makes you happy! Taking care of yourself is so important. Remind yourself of your blessings every single day and at some point those blessings will grow and you will remember how incredible your life is. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><b>Come to Terms:</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>You have to come to terms with your problems. You have to accept what has happened, grieve, try to understand, and deal with them. Though having depression is the most frustrating thing and you want to shove your problems into the closet and lock the door, it doesn't work that way. You can be sad about what has happened. You can be devastated, heartbroken, shattered, what ever you want to be. But when you start to lose sight of who you are, you've let it control you. You have to start to deal and cope at some point. EVEN WHEN IT SEEMS IMPOSSIBLE. Even when it seems like there is nothing left for you, and that you will never be able to be happy.. You have convinced yourself of it. You cannot do that. It will be okay. And even if the only thing that is keeping you going is you telling yourself that.. that is enough, until you're strong enough to live it, love it, and believe it. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><b>No One Wants to be Sad:</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>This one applies a lot to people that know someone with depression. I have also been on the other side of all of this and thought.. "Come on.. seriously? Just be happy already." It is so important to remember that most times, we don't have control of these emotions. We don't wake up and think.. "Man, being sad today sounds like a blast." No one wants to be sad.. and if you are choosing that for attention or other unknown reasons, cut it out. Remember that we are all trying the very best that we can, and treating people like they are just being stupid, is really insensitive. Support others as best as you can and realize that if they could, they would be happy with you. Someday they will, just not now. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><b>The Man Upstairs:</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Control your anger. I know I've talked about emotions.. but I want you to remember who you are getting angry with. I found myself taking most of my anger out on the people I loved most, and God. I was so mad at him. I was mad at him for taking people I love, from me. I was mad at him for letting us experience this sadness. I was mad at him that I felt alone, and like no one understood. I was mad at him for everything. Remember that at the end of all the heartache, sadness, and depression, he will still be standing there. Always remember that what is holding you together is him and his love. Don't take it out on the person that loves you most. My relationship with the God and Higher Power I believe in became so much stronger, at the end of all this. If you turn to him, your relationship will grow. You will come to find out more and more each day that he wants what's best for you, even if it takes you experiencing this sadness to get there. It will be okay because he wants it to be. He wants you to learn from it and turn to him for strength.. and you have to do just that. Turn to him, even when it seems impossible. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><b>Get Help:</b></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i> If it seems as though there is nothing in your power to lift the pain, get help. Talk to your parents, your friends, me, who ever. If you can't trust your own thoughts or emotions, you need to get help. It's okay. It's okay to feel broken. You aren't broken, you just need help reminding yourself of that. There is nothing embarrassing about wanting to be happy again. You are doing what is best for you, and that is awesome. I know that for some ridiculous reason, we are taught to believe that these emotions or feelings are embarrassing. They aren't. There is nothing you need to be embarrassed or ashamed of. We just get scared that others won't understand, and even if they don't.. they don't need to. You and your happiness matter, so do what ever it takes to get to that.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I know this has been a lot of words and repetition.. but if anyone out there is still reading I want you to know two last things. YOU ARE LOVED AND IT IS GOING TO BE OKAY. Even when it doesn't seem like it will be okay, it will. I promise. I don't know how it all works out but it does. There was one morning in Moab, my friend and I were sitting in our kitchen talking about suicide, sadness, and really deep topics. Person after person walked in, joined the conversation, realized what we were talking about, and proceeded to turn around and walk out. One guy in particular walked in, joined the conversation, and proceeded to share his feelings. He told us that he too had felt these things. I was shocked. From what I knew about him, he was the happiest, most outgoing, lovable kid I had ever met. I couldn't believe that he had gone through such sadness and depression. After hearing these things from him I realized it was all going to be okay. If he got through it and can be as happy and at peace with his life as he was, so could I! And hey, here I am. No things aren't perfect, they never will be.. but it is all okay. Life keeps going and the happiness you wish for can and will be yours. I am standing here telling you this because I have been there. I have had that overwhelming, unknown, deep, painful, embarrassing, sadness... but I am okay now. And yeah, someday I will probably feel these things again, maybe even worse.. but I will get through that too.. because as humans we have this incredible power to overcome what ever we set our minds to. Have faith and hold on. I love you, who ever you are, and believe in you. You will be okay, I promise. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I'm always here to talk to. Message me and we'll talk. We'll get through what ever you've got weighing on you, together. (Annikaleighmadsen@gmail.com)</i></span></div>
Annika Leigh.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07100707228919726896noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3130944067165297513.post-48547739565721371822014-01-05T20:01:00.001-08:002014-01-05T20:01:06.596-08:00choosing greatness. <span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Most nights I end up in my room, racking my brain for something, anything. I'm searching for some idea, thought, something I can do to change the world. Maybe the world is a huge goal, so I'll have to start with my world. I have this huge fear of raising children in this world. I am scared that they will see and become too familiar with the heartache the world holds. I am scared of the world I see, that seems so ready to rob our futures of any goals, hopes, and dreams. I get incredibly inspired by changes that I want to make, when it seems as though they are shot down because there aren't enough of us willing to make the change. I know we all have these hopes and dreams to be better, do more, and leave this world better than we found it.. but why does it stop there? Why do these thoughts get shot down so quickly? There are so many inspired, kind, loving, giving, people in my life. I get emotional when I think about how blessed I have been when it comes to the people and influences in my life.. If this is the case, I guess all I can ask is that we join hands and change what we don't like. That we no longer stand to the side, as cowards would. I hear things regarding how full of hate, egotistical, ungrateful, and cruel the world is, daily. How "these times." this and that. The fault isn't all ours, but I think that we stand aside and comment about how awful it is, more than we stand up and quit accepting these things. It is so much easier to choose to be blind to these things, than to do your part to make a change. I've made a promise to myself tonight to no longer be okay with the things I hate about this world.. No, unfortunately that promise to myself won't instantly change the world.. but I know that if the only difference I make is for myself and my future children, then that is enough. I'd ask you to consider doing the same in your life. If the thought of someone being without a home makes you feel something.. anything.. what can you do? If your heart aches for a family going through a rough time, what can you do? If you wish something was different, what's stopping you from changing it? I think our generation can achieve greatness if we choose to. If we lose the excuse that "I am only one person," cause that is a stupid excuse. If you want something, work for it. If you are inspired to help, do it. If you are sick of seeing the heartache that surrounds us from day to day, what are you going to do? Because the world sure as hell isn't changing itself. </i></span>Annika Leigh.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07100707228919726896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3130944067165297513.post-26085127483065221842013-12-15T16:19:00.000-08:002013-12-15T16:19:06.587-08:00usa. <span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>As I sat in my kitchen singing along to some Justin Bieber, with my sister.. I started thinking.. surprising, right? Similar things have come across my mind lately. These are basically all thoughts of anger. His song says "Hey, can you tell me how I can make a change... Ohh I got a vision to make a difference, and it's starting today" and he goes on to sing about these sad circumstances we have around us. No, I'm not writing this to call out Justin Bieber, I'm writing it simply because I think we live in a pathetic country. <span style="box-sizing: border-box; line-height: 16px;"><br /></span></i></span><div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>We live in America, home of the:</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>-Ten million dollar bra</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>- 300 million dollar budget for multiple movies</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>- Over 400 people, worth anywhere from 1 billion to 72 billion dollars</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>- Lottery that you can win 400 million dollars from</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>and so on..</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Are any of these things bad? Are any of them taking away from our country? No, probably not. Do almost all of those 400 people that have over one billion dollars, most likely help out, give back, and make a difference? Maybe. Are any of those people known for their good works? Are any of them known to be inspirational, giving, or selfless? Maybe. Is that why they are famous, rich, or successful? </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I am not claiming to know what good deeds these people do.. whether it be the richest man in the United States or the unbelievably lucky soul that won the mega lottery. Though I will give them all the benefit of the doubt and I sure do hope that they are all secretly scheming a way to end poverty or world hunger.. you don't hear on the news or read the head liners "So and So gave back," "This billion dollar man made a difference" "THESE PEOPLE CHANGED THE WORLD." Maybe they have so many bills for their 42 vehicles, maybe Victoria's Secret HAS to make a ten million dollar bra.. because that is all they have ever dreamed of... and maybe the 300 million dollar budget for Pirates of the Caribbean changed the world. And Justin Bieber, maybe your net worth of 130 million dollars is only enough to help a little here and there. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Tupac once said "<span style="background-color: white;">I feel like there's too much money here. Nobody should be hitting the Lotto for 36 Million when we got people starving in the streets. That is not idealistic. That's just real. That is just stupid. There's no way that Michael Jackson or whoever Jackson should have a million thousand droople billion dollars and then there's people starving. There's no way! There's no way that these people should own planes and there people don't have houses. Apartments. Shacks. Drawers. Pants! I know you're rich. I know you got 40 billion dollars, but can you just keep it to one house? You only need ONE house. And if you only got two kids can you just keep it to two rooms? I mean why have 52 rooms and you know there's somebody with no room? It just don't make sense to me. It don't." </span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><span style="background-color: white;"><br /></span></i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>The individuals that are successful in this world, deserve it. I honestly believe that when you work hard, it pays off. But how.. how can you live with millions of dollars, floating around you, day in and day out, look outside of your life, and see the heartache, poverty, and awful circumstances there are. There are people that don't have clean water. There are people that will only dream of going to school. There are kids that raise themselves because they don't have a family or home or anything to call their own. Why is it always the people scraping by, themselves, that want to give the most. It makes me so mad that I have so many people in my life that want to help.. but they can't afford to help. So yeah, these billion dollar people, these ridiculous items we are creating here in the US, yeah.. they are awesome. They are making history.. but when is someone going to step up and open their eyes. I dream of a day that someone will be selfless enough to make a difference. I dream of a day that there will be someone on the news that I will honestly be able to look up to. I dream of a day that I won't have to fear what my kids will grow up to idolize. I dream of a day that I will be filled with hope, because of what someone has done. </i></span></div>
Annika Leigh.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07100707228919726896noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3130944067165297513.post-54585737295545698232013-12-08T15:57:00.000-08:002013-12-08T15:57:41.649-08:00belief. <span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I don't care what you believe in.</i></span><div>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I don't care if your God is different than others.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I don't care how you start your prayer or how you end it.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I don't care if you pray at all.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I don't care if you believe in science, love, or junk food.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I don't care if you go to church on Sunday.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I don't care if you go to church on a Monday, Saturday, or Thursday.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I don't care if you don't go to church at all. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I don't care if you are unsure of your beliefs, at the moment.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I don't care if the only thing you believe in or know for sure is that the sun will come up tomorrow. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I really don't think it matters what we believe, if we believe the same things, or who believes the right or wrong thing. I don't think any of us are in a position to decide who believes right and who has faith in the "wrong" things. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>But this much I know for sure, believing in something.. it changes people. There is a light in the eyes of those that believe in something. As I have gone throughout my day today I've really tried to think of my beliefs. What do I, Annie, believe in. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>These are some of the things I came up with, for today:</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>1. I believe in good people. I believe that the world is full of honest to God, good people. I think that far too often, we forget that we are those good people. We let other things cloud our judgement and we forget. Though sometimes we do forget, I believe that deep within all of our hearts, there is goodness, and when we strive to let that goodness shine we reveal more of our true selves. I am so grateful for that. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>2. At this point in my life, I can't say I believe in one church. I don't think that there is one specific church that holds all of the truths or has all the answers. Sometimes I think the whole religious concept is such a far off, made up, joke.. but that is just when my over analyst side comes out. I believe that religious people are great. There is something that is touching to me about those that devote their entire lives to their religion. Whether that is serving a mission for your church or the sweet nuns that devote their lives to raising orphans. It doesn't matter what church/religion your actions come from, as long as you are devoting your life to making the world a better place, that is what I have immense respect for. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>3. I believe in love. Not necessarily the.. fall in love, happily ever after love, though that's great too. But, the kind of love I'm thinking of, is the love that changes the world. The love that comes from so far down in your soul.. the pure love. I think that if every kid was raised by loving parents, this world would come to know some kind of peace. I think that if LOVE was the go to emotion.. that if love was our default emotion, rather than anger or contention, our world would be an entirely different place. I know without a doubt that the people that are so damn hard to love... really are the ones that need it most. I know that there are people in this world that have aching hearts, that need peace and love in their life, but have no idea where to turn or how to ask for it. I know that there is some kind of heart ache and pain that only honest love can fix. I know that giving and receiving love is the most incredibly, satisfying, feeling in the world. I believe in love and wish we all could realize how much practicing love, could change things. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>4. I know that there have been times that I have felt unable to move, unable to look forward to the next day. I've felt alone, sad, and unaware of how to keep going. I have an easy life, but I have felt these things. I have felt a fraction of pain and hurt, than most have.. but I know that the only thing I could do at those moments, was force myself to believe in something more. I believe that if you tell yourself there is nothing to live for, there isn't. But what a lie that is. You have to believe in something more. You have to put every ounce of belief that you can muster, that the sun will rise, and things will get easier. You have to. The second you chose a negative mindset, that is what will follow. As soon as you forget to believe, you slip. I have had to tell myself.. I don't know why. I don't know why I would believe in something.. but I have to. Even if it might not be there. Even if there might not be anything out there. Even if God is made up. Even if this whole life is a made up, lie.. I have to believe in something.. because that is my only option. The second you stop believing in something is the second you become utterly lost. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>So believe in something. What ever you can, just believe wholeheartedly in it. Believe in a religion, love, that there is good people out there, that we live in an incredible, good world, or a God, anything. I've lost people because they couldn't muster a minute of belief that things will get better. There are people in my life right now that I'm terrified of losing to disbelief. There is someone that I'm writing this to, simply because I need them to believe that things will get better. I don't care if you believe in cement, clouds, or candy. I don't care what you believe. I just need you to believe in something, believe that there is more than the pain you feel right now. I believe there is good out there, I believe there is something to live for, I believe that all beliefs are correct.. that there isn't such thing as the wrong beliefs.. because what ever God, higher power, big bang theory, or freaking religion you believe in.. you're right. Believing in something pushes us to be better. Pushes us to strive for more than we are.. and that is the best thing we can be doing. Believing in something reminds us that we are alive. </i></span></div>
Annika Leigh.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07100707228919726896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3130944067165297513.post-40786198175355546112013-11-25T17:11:00.000-08:002013-11-25T17:11:47.365-08:00returning home.<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>As I make preparations to return to Ecuador, I have experienced quite the emotional roller coaster. Aside from the inevitable stress, my heart is full. I have had this nagging feeling since I returned last year, that there is more work to be done there. There is more my heart needs to learn. It has been tough for me to realize that when I return, a lot of my kids from last year won't be there. Majority of these kids have been moved into different locations to be taken care of by different workers. I am sad to know that it won't be the same as last year; different volunteers, different children, different workers. I worry that it might be different, that I won't love it as much. Those thoughts quickly fade, as I remember how easy it was to love these children last time. I wish more than anything that my babies from last year would be with me, along with more children to love. My prayer each and every day is that the kids that were given families are safe. I wish I would have been able to stay by there side every day for the rest of forever. I guess that is why I have been more open to trust.. because all I can do is hope, pray, and trust that these kids will be okay.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I've created a blog to help me get back to Ecuador. Check it out <a href="http://theecuadorjourney.blogspot.com/">HERE</a></i></span><br />
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<br />Annika Leigh.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07100707228919726896noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3130944067165297513.post-33569722107390750492013-11-23T18:32:00.002-08:002013-11-23T18:33:38.111-08:00you're toxic, i'm slipping under. <span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><br /></i></span>
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I recently had a conversation with a friend about toxic people. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>These are the ones that complain, blame, and point fingers. The ones that find all of your faults and wish to drag you down as far as they can. The overreacters, the energy drainers, and the negative spirits. The ones that bring your spirit down for some unknown reason. They bombard, crash, and destroy your life, most the time without you even knowing.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I have standards and goals. I have an unsaid list of expectations for the people in my life. If I allow you into my life I expect you to follow these simple rules. All of the rules are basically around my beliefs of RESPECT. I will never stand behind or allow someone to intentionally hurt another. I do not want someone in my life that will deter me from my goals and aspirations. I don't want people in my life that aren't showing me a better way to live, showing love to me and those around us, or people that aren't going to believe in me.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>There are two people that I can think of specifically, in my life, that are "toxic people." Though they are toxic that does not mean I love them any less. I know that when I am around them they bring me down.. and they are two people I am incredibly close to. I have had a very tough time trying to avoid our friendship and am unsure of what words to say when I'm around them. There is something very important that I have learned through all of the awkwardness, though. Regardless of how much you love someone, if they are leaving you feeling sad, sick, mad, or bad about life, they don't need to be in yours. No you don't have to be rude, but refraining from being around them is the best thing you can do. You can be on good terms but there isn't a single reason why you should feel like they have to be in your life. If they do damage to you, why would you keep them there? For me, I hope and pray that our friendship will return to normal someday.. but as for now, I know that I will be better and progress more without them. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>It is an awkward, sad, feeling to have. Most of the time you will realize that it's someone that you are close with. For me, I think about it and think that it is better for both of us. It is better for me to get the negativity out of my life, and it is better for that person to realize that not everyone is going to tolerate the bad vibes being brought into their lives. Toxic people are real. I am so grateful I have the power to control who stays and who goes in my life. There is enough bad in the world that we don't need to be filling our personal lives with it as well. Take a look at your life and who you are allowing in. If they aren't serving a purpose, teaching you, bringing happiness, joy, and peace.. there isn't any reason you need to keep them there. </i></span></div>
Annika Leigh.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07100707228919726896noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3130944067165297513.post-25862076935009415012013-11-07T21:01:00.004-08:002013-11-07T21:01:54.140-08:00do and don't. <span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I don't want the biggest, best, or newest.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I don't want the most </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I don't want the flashiest.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I don't want a car.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I don't want a phone.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I don't want stuff.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I don't want to be rich.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I don't want the nicest.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I don't want the most likes or views. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I don't want things.</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I want love.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I want to give love.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I want to receive love. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I want to see, really, truly see.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I want to help.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I want to expand myself.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I want to learn.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I want to serve.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I want to feel happiness.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I want to feel alive, every single day.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I want to be grateful for every single thing in my life.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I want to make a beautiful life out of this incredible world. </i></span>Annika Leigh.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07100707228919726896noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3130944067165297513.post-30586429423806900282013-10-29T10:36:00.000-07:002013-10-29T10:36:02.886-07:00the influence series 4<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><i>The Influence Series is a way for me to share my love and thank those that have blessed my life. For more of a description about the series read <a href="http://annikaleigh.blogspot.com/2013/09/the-influence-series.html">HERE</a>. </i></span><br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #666666; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">During high school I was able to meet an intelligent, sarcastic, incredible girl. One that led by example, and one that was able to take all my jokes and sarcasm. </span></i></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoHSvyLFuiWlu0qEXDiyjtxiHOHXpzkjbIhZU-yv6mHnqZgXJ89wtO_McYxVBKAJ5pQtZO-ckwLdGy68QtrRzijUYQ7H349_zzk2bLk52F9cGLv3R42b6x_tnjQUJpVP7pnAKxp159XEQ/s1600/971320_10201425858991720_1980690224_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhoHSvyLFuiWlu0qEXDiyjtxiHOHXpzkjbIhZU-yv6mHnqZgXJ89wtO_McYxVBKAJ5pQtZO-ckwLdGy68QtrRzijUYQ7H349_zzk2bLk52F9cGLv3R42b6x_tnjQUJpVP7pnAKxp159XEQ/s320/971320_10201425858991720_1980690224_n.jpg" width="213" /></i></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Meet Addie.</i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Addie and I danced together on the our high school's dance team. Not only is she an incredible dancer that your eye is drawn to instantly, she is brilliant. We spent hundreds of hours together and created this out of control, joking, friendship. She took all my stupid jokes but instantly threw them right back at me. Her beliefs are shown not only through her words but her actions. You are instantly uplifted in her presence. She makes everyone feel like they are worth it. I have always admired how important learning is to her. Every year our dance company goes to the Shakespeare festival in Cedar City. As we prepare our dance to compete down there, we have to do a little research, and base our dance of off words Shakespeare has written. I remember our entire team thinking, "alright, so Addie.. you've got this, right?" We all knew that one of her many strengths were academics and more specifically her love for Shakespeare. I recall so many conversations that I felt as though I could be one hundred percent my true self, around her. She didn't judge, laugh, or belittle anyone. She pushed me during high school, to want more for myself.. and still continues to do so. Addie can and will change the world. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Addie, I'm sorry for all of the jokes I directed towards you for so long..... haha just kidding. I love you though, and know that hearing nice things from me rarely happen, so consider yourself lucky. When I saw that it was your birthday I was reminded what an influence you have been on my life. I miss you, love you, and am grateful I know you! The world needs more intelligent, genuine, and all around funny people, like Addie. </i></span></div>
Annika Leigh.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07100707228919726896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3130944067165297513.post-73673441295662079662013-10-26T15:45:00.001-07:002013-10-26T15:45:11.624-07:00preconceived ideas. <span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I think we all have this preconceived idea in our head. This map, this beautiful portrait, of how our lives are going to play out. When each piece will be laid to create our own magnificent puzzle. That every soul we love will stay in our lives forever, and there will only be good. That our lives will simply be like every book we've ever read, and our own happily ever after will come when we say we are ready. We say "I am going to do that," and nothing falls down in front of us, and no one appears in our way. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>We have this preconceived idea in our head that we are the creators of our lives. That our opinion is the only opinion that matters unless we say so. There isn't a word, action, or person, that can deter us from our self-made happiness. We choose what we will feel, and the rest stays on the other side of the wall we built. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>We forget of the goodness each soul brings into our lives. That the unexpected hello turns into a magnificent friendship. That the beautiful portrait is merely ordinary in comparison to our stunningly messy lives. That in and through loss, we gain so much understanding and love, which holds much truer on a grander scale. Our lives create our stories. Our messy, far from perfect lives. What nonsense to wish of a life you have read, when you hold the pen to your own. That our own happily ever after might take you to hell and back, but it will be yours. We create our lives, yes, but it isn't solely due to our own actions. This world, this moonstruck, berserk, world. The crinkling leaves and strangers that slip a smile.. These are the creators of our lives. There may be words uttered that break us, take us to our own hell, and unhinge us.. but those words are the same ones that build us, the ones that make it possible for ourselves to look the mirror eye to eye, and know without an ounce of disbelief, that we will get through anything. That even though at times we lose control of our emotions, we create ourselves, with the love and light we allow in. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>So yes, there are days that we conceive these ideas that a perfect life, one without heartache and trial.. well, wouldn't that just be ideal. But as I look back, it's the hardest times, the messy, ugly, times of my life that have created me; Annie. And during those times that you are getting to know someone, and you think it would be much simpler to leave that part of your story out, remember that you are you. You are this beautifully, messy, human being. You can chose what to let in.. but isn't it better to let love in and get hurt, rather than to miss out on that love completely? There's beauty in the heartache. Oh, I promise, there is magnificence in your sorrow. </i></span>Annika Leigh.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07100707228919726896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3130944067165297513.post-2495393910591708542013-10-22T21:58:00.000-07:002013-10-22T21:58:55.088-07:00glowing stars. <span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Do you ever sit on your bed at the end of a long day, thinking over every detail from the prior hours. What happened to make you feel so happy, sad, confused. Questioning why you didn't get more done, or call that friend you've been meaning to catch up with. Do you stare at the glow in the dark stars on your ceiling and think "what more could I have done today?" Do you think about your freshly brushed teeth and how you left the water running longer than you should have, and realize how many people in this world PRAY to see clean, running water, someday. Do you check social media and think about the amount of time you waste, staring at meaningless things. Do you remember how much you judged your neighbor for posting the words that they did. Does your mind trace back not just to the earlier hours, but the past week. Do you think about what you ate last Sunday, or even what you ate for breakfast today. Did I eat breakfast. Then somehow your mind thinks how did I get here. Not only to this bed, but this life. How did my life turn into this very moment. How did I turn into this version of me. How did I manage to lose trust in all those that surround me. How did I forget to be grateful. How did I look past someone that needed me. How did I lose my best friends. How did I forget to do my laundry. How did I forget to put away that sleeping bag that has been sitting at the bottom of the stairs for three days now. How did I forget to smile at that stranger. How did I become so alone. How did I forget to love. How do these things happen so quickly, that I don't realize it until I'm staring at the glow in the dark stars on my ceiling.</i></span>Annika Leigh.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07100707228919726896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3130944067165297513.post-26450952131406017252013-10-18T10:55:00.000-07:002013-10-18T10:55:54.871-07:00confusion and questions surround me. <span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I have never been more confused in my entire life. Growing up is confusing. My decisions have started to matter. I reap what I sow. Where my time is directed is where I will end up. My choices reflect who I am. But some nights I realize I have no idea where I want to end up, who I want to be, what I am. I know me.. but I only know the Annie at 12 o'clock, Friday, October 18th, Annie. I make bad decisions. I don't know what I'm doing most times. I question every single action. Because it's scary to think that what I am doing right now is preparing and turning me into the Annie that I will spend the rest of my life being. I am grateful that it's never too late to change the Annie I am.. but there is part of me that will always question if my actions right now are going to cause heartache, pain, and unnecessary soul searching for who I am, in the future. It's our instinct to compare ourselves to others, and lately I look around and feel like people don't question it. They are just doing them. I don't get it, I don't understand, I can't live without questioning every moment. Sometimes I wish I could change that, but it's who I am. I'm Annie. I'm a little lost, confused, and unsure where my future is leading me. I regret some choices, forget what really matters, and am searching for the bigger picture. I know I'm worth more than some of my decisions. I can't help but think how much I have been blessed, and hope that I use my blessings to turn out to be a decent person. I don't know. </i></span>Annika Leigh.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07100707228919726896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3130944067165297513.post-30630652020893727792013-10-01T19:00:00.000-07:002013-10-01T19:00:49.624-07:00the influence series 3<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">The Influence Series is a way for me to share my love and thank those that have blessed my life. For more of a description about the series read </span><a href="http://annikaleigh.blogspot.com/2013/09/the-influence-series.html">HERE</a></i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>There is a special girl that has touched so many lives, especially this past year. I haven't met someone as loving as her. She is the most accepting person I've ever met. </i></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDYbinZrONvGnSmwzDlYZ60Q-ADTaDj0pG3JjZ0Fhmz2L0iazNgH0LbF-PF0iG3Nw-2NM2fb2bsayf1o71OQThdiuFLzfjmRI1-gre4FbMb7KhluDiDmPLdTDF7YiXTxa0LIk_-C9JCyU/s1600/ballet+companyyyy.+070.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><img border="0" height="213" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjDYbinZrONvGnSmwzDlYZ60Q-ADTaDj0pG3JjZ0Fhmz2L0iazNgH0LbF-PF0iG3Nw-2NM2fb2bsayf1o71OQThdiuFLzfjmRI1-gre4FbMb7KhluDiDmPLdTDF7YiXTxa0LIk_-C9JCyU/s320/ballet+companyyyy.+070.jpg" width="320" /></i></span></a></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>That girl, is Sydney. </i></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>That is one of my favorite pictures of her because it explains exactly who she was. She is light. I don't think there was a rehearsal without her making some weird, crazy, comment, or dance move. It wasn't possible. She befriended every single girl at our studio. One of my favorite things was that when someone would get embarrassed, she would make fun of herself to take the attention off the other person. She was kind, sincere, loving, and down right crazy. The creepy, eyebrow raising looks she'd give you right before a wink. Losing her was heartbreaking to everyone that knew her. She is the best example of true selfless friendship, for all of us. A friend and I were talking about how majority of the people that know her, refer to her as "their best friend." We discussed the fact that at some point in her life she made everyone feel like they were her ultimate best friend. She befriended everyone! Which was lucky for us, because we all wanted to be her friend. I aspire to be more like who she is; a light, genuine, and a happy spirit you want to be around. She defines my meaning for "the influence series." She is someone we can all aspire to be more like. I'm so grateful for the years of friendship I had with her and am grateful for her example to us. Love you forever Syd. </i></span></div>
Annika Leigh.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07100707228919726896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3130944067165297513.post-47375096877214035772013-10-01T18:32:00.001-07:002013-10-01T18:32:15.610-07:00the influence series 2<i style="background-color: white; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">The Influence Series is a way for me to share my love and thank those that have blessed my life. For more of a description about the series read <a href="http://annikaleigh.blogspot.com/2013/09/the-influence-series.html">HERE</a></span></i><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>This summer I encountered so many amazing spirits. Those I worked with and many tourists I got to know, seemed more genuine than I was used to. People were in Moab for a range of reasons, but there was a common quality of pure passion, in most of them. The person that comes to mind when thinking of genuine, passionate, individual is McKenna. </i></span><br />
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<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRSMCsICHc8MR-GcCAGqxByg6diCsf_KPjtgyT8018PcekgO2_HHfatKupitgaxVQxqZXb-BEX1N_ZZMqWrvxR2oeZCDtm8LfvFKCzbt1jcnsIjUSHgwT0VrzRnyLGdV-k_y-sWsmnKk4/s1600/1000217_485382004881477_562640280_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhRSMCsICHc8MR-GcCAGqxByg6diCsf_KPjtgyT8018PcekgO2_HHfatKupitgaxVQxqZXb-BEX1N_ZZMqWrvxR2oeZCDtm8LfvFKCzbt1jcnsIjUSHgwT0VrzRnyLGdV-k_y-sWsmnKk4/s320/1000217_485382004881477_562640280_n.jpg" width="120" /></i></span></a></div>
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<i style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">McKenna is REAL. </i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I can't count the days that she made me laugh my head off. She made me feel welcome and capable of everything that would be thrown at me. She listened to me vent, cry, and be a hyper psycho. It didn't take me long to realize that she was different than most. She loves everyone. She is the sassiest girl I've ever met. She doesn't take crap from people. She is honest. She told me when I was being stupid, which was great because I really did need to hear it. I just can't explain her because these qualities seem so rare. People this genuine are so rare. During the season she got hurt and went to work up in the companies Salt Lake office. I remember being so mad. Like she got hurt, but no It's about me, I NEED her! She made me feel valid. I didn't feel ashamed around her. She looked out for me and listened to everything I had to say. One night we went to Wendy's and somehow got into an in depth conversation about our beliefs. That night I realized how intelligent she truly is. She has figured out for herself who she is and what she believes. As dumb as it sounds, she was seriously my angel this summer. She gave me a chance, as she did to everyone. She became one of my closest friends in such a short amount of time. I admire her thoughtfulness, sassy/witty comebacks, and true beauty. I don't know a soul that doesn't love her. McKenna is someone I will strive to become more like every single day. I consider myself the luckiest human to be able to call her a friend. I love you McKenna, thank you for being you!</i></span></div>
Annika Leigh.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07100707228919726896noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3130944067165297513.post-57907072384991899672013-09-30T11:57:00.000-07:002013-09-30T12:00:32.674-07:00the influence series 1<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>The Influence Series is a way for me to share my love and thank those that have blessed my life. For more of a description about the series read <span style="color: black;"><a href="http://annikaleigh.blogspot.com/2013/09/the-influence-series.html">HERE</a> </span></i></span><br />
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<i style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Have you ever met someone that speaks to your soul? You meet them and part of your life just makes sense. They say something and it makes you feel whole. </i><br />
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<i style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">That is who Charlotte has become for me. </i></div>
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<i style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;">Charlotte is my mothers, cousin, and is wise beyond years. I couldn't think of anyone better to start this blog series out with. I'm not sure how this admiration I have for her, fell into place.. I just remember seeing her and thinking, "That is someone I will strive to become more like." At her fathers funeral, years ago, she simply hugged me and whispered words to me that have literally shaped my life. She is someone that believed in me, for reasons beyond me. I don't know why she was so kind to me, (a young, awkward girl,) but that is who she is. She brought light, advice, and loving words that made me feel as though I was worth gold. That I could accomplish everything and anything I could ever dream of. She was one of the first people I told, while still in high school, that I wanted to volunteer in Ecuador. She calmed me of all my hesitations and fear of a different country, as she had been there and volunteered years ago. She reminds me so much of my Grandpa Dan in the way that what ever I aspire to do, she stands behind. She exemplifies intelligence, wisdom, and has experienced so much of the world. Somehow her words slip through my ears and speak right to my soul. Though I rarely see her, her influence and example guide me every single day. There truly isn't a day that I don't think of the kind words and belief in me that she as blessed me with. I don't think she realizes how deeply her words and simple care and love for me have done. I love you Charlotte, and cannot explain the guidance you have blessed me with. The world needs more people like you. Thank you for believing in me.</i><br />
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<i style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"> I aspire to be half of who you are, someday. </i></div>
Annika Leigh.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07100707228919726896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3130944067165297513.post-66572525704902723072013-09-29T19:34:00.003-07:002013-09-29T19:34:43.908-07:00The Influence Series. <span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Majority of my thoughts lately have been about the people in my life. Yes, there are those that bring us down, bring drama, and negativity.. but what about those that bring happiness, light, and a bright example, to our lives? How incredibly blessed are we to have people in our lives that make us better. It may be the guy who held the door open for you, or a teacher you had in high school. Regardless of how big or small the example was, it still brings a light into your life that you don't forget. I've decided to start something on my blog that will let me show you guys, the people around me that are incredible influences and people that I admire and aspire to be more like. There are such good people in this world. I want to show people that being a friend to someone can change their life, forever. I have several influences that I still lean on that I haven't talked to for years.. but at some point in my life, they said or did something that changed me forever. I'm calling it The Influence Series. It will be a series of blog posts highlighting people I love, lessons they have taught me, or simply things I admire about them. Some may be familiar faces others you may have never seen before. I will still be posting regular stuff in between but expect to see some new faces and stories up on the blog. We can learn so much from the bright light of others. I love people and am so grateful for the positive influence they have brought to my life... </i></span><div>
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<i style="font-family: 'Trebuchet MS', sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: large;">Kindness doesn't go unnoticed</span>. </i></div>
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Let The Influence Series begin!</i></span></div>
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Annika Leigh.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07100707228919726896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3130944067165297513.post-27140281528159945652013-09-26T13:26:00.000-07:002013-09-26T13:26:10.135-07:00swallowing my pride. <span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>You know that at peace feeling you have when you love someone you trust. That clear mind and open heart. Some days I think that maybe I'll look back at this and think.. "You thought that was love.. but you had no idea." Maybe I will, or maybe I'll know that was my true first love. I have no other explanation for it. It's been so long since I was on that cloud nine. That laughing our heads off, disregarding everything people said about us, being spontaneous and sometimes so stupid.. Were we naive? Was it stupid of us to make plans so big? Was I stupid for trusting you? Is it stupid that I'm still completely in love with someone that shattered me? After all this time... I wish I just knew why it all happened. Why I am nineteen years old and have no desire to get married or rush into anything.. because maybe I still have some hope that things will change between us. That they will go back to how they were. I have been in plenty of relationships before and after you.. but I don't think of them. People that I loved don't stand a chance next to you. All I have ever wanted was for someone to believe in me, and you did. I hate nothing more than vague blog posts about past boyfriends.. but somehow that is all I have left of you. I still hope and pray that something changes, that things will get better between us.. and maybe I am so so so stupid for that... but I don't care. I'm sitting here writing this thinking how embarrassing it would be if you came across this and knew it was about you.. but then I realized I wouldn't care. All I have wanted is for you to know that I honestly think I will always love you. So here I am, swallowing my pride for no reason.. in hopes that someday I get my best friend back.</i></span>Annika Leigh.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07100707228919726896noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3130944067165297513.post-67851896593438125422013-09-18T00:22:00.003-07:002013-09-18T00:22:54.627-07:00my social media rampage.<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>You know, lately I've found a lot of peace and positive vibes in my life.. but tonight someone said something that shook up a lot of feelings that I have shoved into a dusty, rarely visited corner of my life. So instead of writing some blog post with hidden meaning and hate behind it all, that no one really understands why I'm so mad.. I've decided to be up front with everyone.. because I am SICK AND TIRED of people acting like being rude for no reason is okay. I really don't care if anyone agrees with anything I have to say, because maybe I'm just writing this in hopes that the people that say things like this can read it and realize that it isn't okay. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>So I'm going to go ahead at start a list of things that I think are bull shit.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>1. The fact that people worship instagram famous, twitter famous, freaking social media famous individuals. I'm so sorry, but if you are honestly friends with someone because their picture gets 201908 likes.. get over yourself. What does that make them? Do they become any smarter, more loving, a person with depth that wants to hear your hopes and dreams? Is that what it means when their "likes" get past 100. Do they become more of a person after a certain number? That doesn't make them anything different than someone that gets 2. So stop. Stop becoming friends with someone because it looks cool.. And shoot you may even gain a follower because they mentioned you in a tweet. Love people for who they are and who you know them to be. It's sad that I have friends that I love so much, that surround themselves with people that make them look good on social media. Ones that have honestly shut me out because they have found their "social media soul mates......" stop. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>2. Stop saying things about people you don't know. For instance, commenting on what someone said or is wearing to your followers. "like omg everyone should see what this girl in my art class is wearing right now.. she's pathetic. HAHA" HAHA you are not funny.. and are so beyond immature. Stop. Stop making fun of people.. YOU DON'T KNOW A DAMN THING ABOUT. It seriously is not fair that "the girl in your art class" has this awful reputation because of your social media accounts. Who cares if no one ever knows exactly who she is or if she never even sees it, I really don't care. The fact that you can hide behind your stupid account and say what ever you want about people is ridiculous. Shit.. that girl in your art class doesn't have a twitter and is embarrassing herself right now.. Guess she's less of a person, and you'll have to tweet it to tell everyone. stop!</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>3. Stop laughing at immaturity. Simple as that. Just because someone is twitter famous.. doesn't mean what ever they say turn into words to worship. No bullying, rude comments, what ever you want to call it.. are funny. Making someone feel like crap for no reason with your "subtweet" isn't funny. At the end of the day.. people know who you are talking about, you know who you are talking about, and the person it was about sure as hell knows you are talking about them. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>4. If you are a church going, God loving, social media preaching person.. then make sure you are that person, always. I realize that yes, I myself am not always perfect, and may have a hard time practicing what I preach.. But in one day I counted seven people that I follow that tweeted some "Believe in God" or "Follow/ trust God" quotes, then proceeded to several hours later, say stupid, immature, "I'm better than everyone" or "I'm glad I walked away from you when I did" tweets. Why does social media put this crown on some of us.. That all of the sudden we are better because people "like" what we say. How cowardly, that because people think our profiles make us look cool.. we can say what ever we want and people will still respect us. That's simply cowardly. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>5. Stop posting things that people want to hear. Social media is becoming a whole crowd of people pleasers.. cause didn't you know.. "getting likes is the only thing that matters in life."</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>6. My last complaint for tonight is the fact that social media could be the best thing that happened to our generation.. but we are using it for the wrong reasons. We see someone cry out for attention, a friend, anyone or thing.. and nobody does anything about it. Someone posts something about having a hard day and all we do is "like" it. I know that social media is the only way I've been able to find out that my friend is going through a hard time.. and I'm grateful I saw their post/tweet. But honestly when people sit and post things like "I'm glad we aren't friends" or "I bet you wish you had a friend like me" I stop and wonder why? Like.. so we can all feel way worse about ourselves, than we already do. It makes me sick to think the world has lost lives because of things that are said on social media. If people realized how much their stupid tweets and posts effect each other. Yeah.. we're all cool kids.. and we don't care. Bull shit. We all care and even when you think you are just being funny.. you aren't. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>The sad thing is that yes, the examples I've used are things that I have honestly seen and heard, regarding social media. That reflects pretty well on our generation, wouldn't you say? A lot of the things I've typed seem so ridiculous and you might think to yourself "No one says that stuff, she's exaggerating" but you know what.. people would rather die than live because of social media bullying.. so you know, maybe things like these really are said. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Yes, I Annie, have posted unacceptable things on twitter, facebook, instagram, vine, blogger, what ever.. I'm sure of it. I have probably been someone that said one of the examples I've used. Tonight I am making it my personal goal to stop.. To stop posting things that will make others feel bad about themselves, question their self worth, or even see me differently. I am making it a goal to be my tweets, posts, pictures, everything. Because if what I'm posting doesn't portray me, why am I posting it?</i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Social media can be the best thing that ever happened to us.. Sharing our thoughts, letting awesome pictures, videos, quotes, go viral. So why do we more often turn to the negative side of it. I'm sincerely sorry if I have posted hurtful things about you or that you felt were directed towards you. I hope everyone will challenge themselves to use the internet in a positive way that will reflect who you are and aspire to be. </i></span><br />
<br />Annika Leigh.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07100707228919726896noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3130944067165297513.post-66151734361637995332013-09-17T10:55:00.000-07:002013-09-17T10:55:21.166-07:00my proposal. <span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>This past week I was able to purpose an idea that I was beyond passionate about. It took more time and effort than I thought it would, to get it worded exactly the way I wanted it. Fortunately for me, the individual I purposed it to didn't just shut me out. He didn't say yes immediately either. He asked for more details, more thoughts, more on how I would execute my plan. I was relieved that I wasn't turned away instantly. It's scary purposing ideas that hold part of your heart. To be passionate about something and cross your fingers that someone will listen. Well it has taken me a week to be able to reply with more thoughts and ideas. I keep wondering why it took me so long. I think that when we share part of our hearts desires with others, it's terrifying. You cross all your fingers and all your toes (I literally did that.. ha) in hopes that they will hear you out, and that just maybe their heart says, "yeah I like the way she thinks." Though it was scary, and I was scared to be shut down.. it was one of the most fulfilling experiences I've had in awhile. Though sometimes it feels as though no one is listening, someone is. Your ideas, thoughts, dreams, they matter. You matter and can make changes where you see fit. It might not come easy and you may have to think way outside of the box.. but this world wants and needs desperately, for people that want to make a difference. Never give up on your dreams, even if they seem too big. You can influence the world for better, I promise. </i></span>Annika Leigh.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07100707228919726896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3130944067165297513.post-804194306275439222013-09-13T22:29:00.004-07:002013-09-13T22:29:48.711-07:00children.<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Having kids isn't in my near future, though I often have thoughts about my children.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I can't wait to meet them.. and love them as much or more than my heart can handle. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Though there is much excitement, having children seems like the most frightening choice you could make in life. The fact that someday I won't be able to protect them. That I can't like.. lock them in my home forever.. you know? Kind of freaky. That they are going to one day leave home and all I will have is hope that I taught them properly, supported them, and hopefully created a relationship they never want to lose. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>But to know that this world is CRAZY. There is so much heartache and confusion. I hate it. I think of how it is now.. and to know that things will just get crazier; it's terrifying. Yes confusion teaches everyone, but somehow I wish I could protect them from the sadness. Future kids, you're freaking me out.</i></span>Annika Leigh.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07100707228919726896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3130944067165297513.post-652424126428036542013-08-30T18:04:00.000-07:002013-08-30T18:04:35.107-07:00people.<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I've been thinking a lot about people lately. I've thought of all the important people in my life that I don't get to hear from often enough, and the ones that I miss with all my heart. One common thing I see in my life is that people come into my life for a number of different lengths.. but more often than not, the most influential people are the ones that are in my life for the shortest amount of time. I think of my project directors, the other volunteers, my kids, and Sor Cristina.. and realize that they were only in my life for 3 months. 3 months that flashed before my eyes. 3 months that I will cherish for the rest of my life. The people I met in Quito taught me more than I could have ever perceived they would. They were and still are my strength. I think about how silly it is that I only knew them for 3 months but they have added something to my heart and soul that makes me, ME. I think of the friends that I've met that I became close to instantly, that I haven't seen in over a year. Reminiscing on the long talks and memories I've made with them.. that have changed me. I relive the conversations my relative Charlotte and I have had. I've only seen her a couple times in my life.. but she has impacted me more than several of my friends I've known my whole life, have. She has helped me see a part of myself that I was too scared to ever search for. She is someone who reached for my hand, and touched my heart instead. </i></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Even though you miss them and it hurts that someone so thoughtful could only be in your life for a short while.. they change you. You can influence people far beyond the time you spend together. I'm so grateful for the friendships, and influential people my life has been blessed with. I'm grateful for the old souls I've encountered. I'm grateful for the people that reach past themselves, and touch others lives. I'm grateful to have so many unique people in my life... even when they only come in for a short while. </i></span>Annika Leigh.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07100707228919726896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3130944067165297513.post-46017324083505450102013-08-19T22:24:00.003-07:002013-08-19T22:24:57.069-07:00Grandpa. <i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">Let me tell you about my favorite man.</span></i><br />
<i><span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;">He's the best cheerleader you could have rooting for you. He has the most hearty chuckle that lifts your spirit, regardless of what's going on. He remembers every detail about you and makes you feel like you are worth gold. He has seen the world, forwards and backwards, and can tell you stories and lessons that will intrigue you for hours. He loves my mom's homemade cheesecake and has the most priceless face when he sees it.. One of my favorite reactions to see. He will pull you aside and tell you things that only pertain to you, helpful insight, and advice that makes you feel like you are all he thinks about. He has taken in every person he meets, and loves them like they are his own. He listens.. He is the best listener you could ever ask for. He is so proud of you, no matter what you do. His actions reflect his beliefs. He is beyond humble, through all of his accomplishments. He's the most loving man I've ever met and I am extremely blessed to call him MY grandpa. </span></i><br />
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<br />Annika Leigh.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07100707228919726896noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3130944067165297513.post-61368984919088889492013-08-17T11:03:00.000-07:002013-08-17T11:03:09.975-07:00paving the way.<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>A cousin recently asked me if I had the travel bug, after we finished talking about my past year.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>I realized that I do have a very strong desire to travel, but more than that, to help.</i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>Going to Ecuador was such a huge blessing. It showed me how much I can help. It paved the way for my future. It taught me that some people aren't blessed with the same things I am. It shatters my heart every time I think of those sweet kids. What their lives will bring.. and the sadness I have when I realize I can't walk with them every step of the way. It expanded my heart to see their lives.. to share a brief three months with them.. and showed me that love is the only universal thing we can share. It taught me that I am more than Orem, Utah. That I can help, everywhere. I told my cousin that if the heartache and need for help was right in front of my eyes here 24/7, I would stay in Orem.. but this world has much more hurt and need for love elsewhere. I can't wait for what my future brings.. and I promise to dedicate it to helping where I can. Sharing the love my sweet babies in Quito, taught me. </i></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Trebuchet MS, sans-serif;"><i>God be with those that are alone. </i></span>Annika Leigh.http://www.blogger.com/profile/07100707228919726896noreply@blogger.com0