Thursday, June 28, 2012

Don't wonder why I walk away when you've already turned your back.

This could either come off as a sob story, or complete honesty.
I'm hoping that it doesn't sound too dramatic, because I really am not trying to be.
Just wanting to throw my words out there, so one day when I am going through a hard time I came look back and see that these small things are nothing to worry about.


I literally feel like everyone has walked out.
alright, so I started off dramatic, but I'm being serious.
Life is so different.
It is really scary to think that this is what growing up is.
It just sucks. 
I Annie am one of the most stubborn people you will ever meet, and I'm not afraid to admit that.
I build walls,
I don't let people in easily.
I let everything in and have a hard time letting it out.
I don't easily trust.
I get attached.
I rely on people that don't even know it.


and literally every person that I've felt like I've begun to let in, or people that mean the absolute most to me, don't even give a crap.


And it's harsh, and it has truly sucked to figure out..
but it's the truth.


It sucks to know that you would do literally anything for someone and in return they think very rarely of you.


I just need someone. 
Anyone.
That can prove to me one reason why I should open up. I'm sick of people telling me that I need to open up, or be more open to meeting people.... but I honestly don't get why. Why would I open up if this is what happens. It is literally happening with every single person in my life. Even my very best friends. and that's sad. I know it's me and not them... but I am the way I am. as annoying as it is.


I know that God knows what he is doing. I know that he know I can handle my decisions, and life on my own.. and that he is teaching me this now. That I don't have to rely on others for my life.. but it is not a fun lesson to learn. I'm trying my very hardest to not be bitter about it.. I just need to trust myself. 

Things will get better, I'm sure of it. 

2 comments:

  1. I may not be there ..literally.
    But im always here for you.

    ReplyDelete