I loved you at hello, and I love you at goodbye.

It's harder to redirect thoughts than I thought it would be.

Especially when everyone brings you up like I can't be human without you.

It's like the situation is echoing through where my footsteps tread.

It's not making anything easier, that I can't say exactly what happened.

I never said that this is what I wanted,

I never decided to take this road,

I never chose for things to be this way,

all I know is that my words seem useless, 

and my energy towards the situation seems wasted.

I'm confused to the point that I don't even know where to start.

I honestly thought the weekend in St. George would take it off my mind..

haha funny.

I don't know why I am posting this on my blog, rather than writing it in my journal.

Maybe cause I'm sick of talking to myself, 

though it pretty much feels the same on here.

I just don't get it... is honestly all I feel.

I met a girl last week who filled me in a lot on the situation, which was hard to hear.. but that's not the point. 

I can't forget about it.

I can't walk away on these terms.

and "these terms" mean... no terms because we just stopped talking.

So here I am.. writing to my stupid blog, on stupid march twelfth.. which makes it that much stupider. 

stupid.

stupid.

stupid.

but here I am, once again, unable to walk away.