that grateful time of year.

I've been dreading writing this.. not because I don't like to be grateful.. but because what triggered my overly grateful feelings.. was ending the relationship with my best friend and I. It is less than fun to have things be over, it sucks to put it simply. But with this relationship ending I have realized how much I do take for granted. I take for granted the little things, which ultimately become the big things. The big extravagant dates, or the first kisses, are the things that you never want to forget.. but looking back, you'll realize that it was that specific look he gave you that night, or the way he slipped a compliment in, ever so discretely . Those are the things that I want to be more grateful for.. cause those are the things that ultimately made it the best relationship it could have been. 

With that being said, I am grateful. I am grateful to live in a free country, which goes beyond those cliche words. It means that I am free to find my own husband, make my own income, own things, decide when and where I want to go somewhere. It means I can ultimately do what ever I want. I can set my very own, personal goals, and achieve them.. and nobody can tell me no. 

I am grateful for nature, and that I live in Utah. What a gorgeous place.. I can't get over it. Each and everyday I get to wake up and go outside to pure bliss. The snow-kissed mountains, the extravagant sunsets, everything.. It is truly incredible.

I am grateful I get to go to Ecuador. I will be on the plane in 11 days, and am feeling a range of emotions about it.. But if there is one thing I am certain of, it is that I am supposed to be there. These kids already have my heart, as I have said before.. and I know I have so much to learn from them. I can hardly wait to meet them.

I am grateful for emotions. That we are able to feel everything. The good and the bad. The happiness and the sorrow. The heartache and the butterflies. The speechless and utter joy. We are able to feel it all. We get to decide how we will react to every situation we go through, throughout our day. How incredible is that. I got to feel sad, I got to feel like a hopeless romantic, I got to feel like a dramatic teenage girl, today.. because I was blessed with emotions. I get to choose whether I want to feel sorry for myself, or move on. 

I am grateful for my brother Garrett, especially today. I felt a little of what he feels each and every day, today. I won't go into details on this, mainly because I know I'll start bawling and won't be able to get it under control.. but if there is anyone that has gone through more unfair treatment, sadness, sorrow, heartache, negativity.. it's him.. and he just keeps pushing through. I love him, with my hearts entire capacity. He has lit the road for me, and walks along side me through it all. 

I'm grateful that places like these exist. I can't wait to explore the world. I will find a way to do so, and can't wait. What beauty there is. 

Though nothing has gone as planned today.. I am choosing to be grateful, anyway.. 

Because I can.