Sunday, July 21, 2013

Moab.

My time in Moab is coming to an end quickly. 
I have less than two weeks here and it seriously blows my mind. I feel like I just pulled in, with everything in my car, looking around at the red rock.. thinking, "I'm okay with this being home." This summer was a memorable one for sure. Not always for good reasons, though. I remember when I first found out I got the job.. I thought to myself that I would have a place to heal, I would be able to get away from the sorrows my heart had been holding onto. I thought that moving here would solve all of my problems. Summer was in full swing and it seemed like day after day there was more and more sadness, and the bad news seemed to find me more here than anywhere. Everything I heard made me want to move home, to be with my family. I was bitter.. I thought that this was supposed to be my healing time, that when I moved here my trials were going to stay on the other side of the Moab border. What happened to healing? I was just getting more hurt. I don't know why I felt like I had a say in when my problems were going to start and end.. but one thing that I did learn, is that running away won't solve anything. Becoming cold hearted and shutting out the world doesn't get rid of your problems. Pushing.. Shoving people out.. it doesn't help. I don't get to decide when life will get easy.. or when my problems are going to stop. I do get to decide how I will face them, though. When the days are hard and I feel like I honestly can't hear anymore sadness or bad things going on around me.. I GET to choose my attitude and how I will face the sorrow. I will continue to fight the battle every single day to choose happiness even when it seems impossible. 

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