I stopped blogging while I was in Ecuador..
a. because when I wasn't at shift I was too tired/lazy to do anything else
and b. because I had so much to say but no words to explain what I was feeling.
But I'm home now.
And I've had a little time to try and sort out my thoughts.
I miss my kids.
I miss waking up every single day knowing I would see the kids that made my day better.. no matter what.
I would give anything to see them right now.
While I was in Ecuador..
I woke up every morning at six am.
I worked long days.
I changed unbelievable amounts of poopy diapers.
I fed messy, messy, sopa.. way too much sopa. (soup that they feed them twice a day.)
I dressed kids in cute clothes just to change them out of them an hour later.. due to them spilling something.
I went to the Equator.
I gave lots of hugs and kisses.
I got lots of hugs and kisses... most of which were full of boogers and slobber.
I watched a lot of barney, dora, and baby einstien.
I tried to understand spanish.
I tried to speak spanish.
I failed.. at the whole spanish thing.
I went ziplining, and rafting down an ice cold river.
I got so many bug bites.
I handed out presents on Christmas.
I spent a lot of money at the local market.
I took a lot of taxi rides.
I saw a lot of people peeing on the side of the road.
I got homesick.. and wanted to be with my family during the holidays.
I watched a lot of Grey's Anatomy.
I cleaned up throw up several times.. and tried to keep myself from throwing up while doing it.
I wiped a lot of noses.
I fell in love with these children.
I ate a lot of delicious fruit.
I lost touch with a lot of friends.
I learned a lot about motherhood.
I made a lot of bottles.
I had no idea how I would one day leave these kids.
I lost a close friend.. and didn't know how I would keep going.
I turned to God.. and let him take over.
I saw poverty.
I got angry that these kids don't have families.
I got angry that I couldn't do anything to change that.
I got angry that I had to leave them.
and the day came that I had to leave.
that day was a complete blur.
I said my goodbyes.
Gave a lot of hugs, a lot of kisses.. and said "i love you" over and over.
And now I'm home..
And I know now.. that I have a new outlook on life.
I have been given more than I deserve.
I have been given the ability to love.. which should be over exercised.
I have been given a family.. to love.
I have been given a home.. to find comfort in.
I have been given the chance to meet these angels.. to learn from them.. and share what they have taught me for the rest of my life.
I went there to help them..
To make a difference in their lives.
Boy, was I wrong.
They did more for me than I could have EVER done for them.
They are far stronger than I am.
They are the biggest blessing in my life, and I promise to love them forever.
Miss my kids so much already, and it has only been a week.