Saturday, April 20, 2013

a bunch of thoughts that don't flow together in any way.


"Everybody's just a stranger but that's the danger in going my own way"

That phrase has been repeated throughout my thoughts the past two weeks. Which by the way. Happy two weeks of being in Moab. I'm feeling more settled in and like I actually know what I'm doing at work. That's beside the point, but is good news. Anyway, every situation I find myself in, I realize a little more about myself and my personality. I have come to find out that I do like being on my own.. But not really. Contradicting, say what? 

I like to be my own best friend. I love time by myself. I love finding out a little more of who I am each day. I love dusting out the scary corners of my life. I love visiting old hobbies. I love reminding myself of my goals. I love being me.. 

I don't feel like I need someone to help me along, with that. I don't need someone to inspire me to be a better me. I don't need the motivation from anyone.. Because I have the drive in myself to do so.. 

But, I saw this picture on Pinterest today.. and it is a bulls eye to how I feel.                                                                               ------------------>
I don't want or need anyone to save me.. or be required to be at my side in order for me to be me. I don't want nor need that in any way shape or form.

But that doesn't mean I don't want someone to simply be by my side.
I want someone there, standing by me.. 
I want someone that has the drive to better and be more of themselves.

Surrounding yourself with people that are continuing to better themselves pushes you further, whether you realize it or not.

No, I'm not saying this in a I want a boyfriend or any bogus thing like that..
But rather, any human being.. that is willing to stand by me. Be my person, while we together conquer ourselves.. and the dusty parts of our lives. 

I put myself in situations that everyone is a stranger.. and I'm okay with that. It is fun to go into something where not a single person knows you, your past, or any dumb thing your name could have picked up along the way of your life. But.. I can't wait to meet someone that will be willing to stand by my side. Because I'm getting sick of being alone. I have lost far too many friends in the past couple months, for what ever reason. But, “Things change. And friends leave. Life doesn't stop for anybody.”  So here's to not dwelling on the past. Here is preparing myself to be ready for that person. Here is to being alone. Here is to being okay with the relationships life gives you. 

“Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed, citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” 

(pretty sure that was all just super contradicting.. and I'm sure it was more confusing than anything. but uh..... it makes sense in my head, I guess.)

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